I start my story by telling howI met Bill four years ago in 2008 at the WEG (World Elder Gathering) of MKP warriors in Portland, Oregon.
I did my first warrior training in 2003 in Chicago and became an warrior (ha!). I was emotionally initiated, became "a new man," came back to Tokyo and started a small i-group with 4 or 5 men, All American guys living in Tokyo, had initiated in the U.S. Men's work became an important part of my life. I wanted to know more about the men's work, got some books and a tape of Robert Bly, etc. I found Bill's book very well written, hands-on, very practical to use for actually starting a mens's group. So I read it and decided let's do that. I had some research money and I was free to chose what I do for my research as a university professor. I was doing a small project how to create community network of child upbringing with local people around the university campus. I circulated an announcement that I would start a Men's Group! If it were mothers' group, women's group, or group for professionals to study something, we would have more people to come, but since it was a Men's group, we only got less than 10 people who were interested. Well, I thought it was good enough to start with, and we actually got it started in February 2004. We had a meeting once in xx weeks, and had total of xx times. It was a nice meetings, it ranges from college student to a father of elementary school child in his 40s. I was still in my 40s at that time. After the last meeting, we went out to a beer place for our farewell party and had lots of fun together. We got very close to each other, but still one of the member said, Oh, this group had been a kind of strange setting what I call 'Lonely men's gathering!' He was right that we were all lonely deep in our souls, but we kind of denied it.
One of the member was at the very far end of this kind of activity, He used to deny all about psychology, counseling, therapy, etc. He thought it was the most useless thing. Her wife was the member of local community with me. She somehow persuaded her husband to join the group. They had a problem with their daughter and she knew her father needed to change. This was how he got into the group. He was the most reluctant member at the beginning, but later, he became the most dedicated member in the group. He did change a lot, and his daughter did too.
So I found the book very useful, but did not know the author at all. Then I came to Portland for the WEG meeting in 2008. I just became 50 years old and entitled to participated the Elder meeting of MKP. Actually Ed Barton encouraged me. So I came, met Ed, and then I found Bill Kauth! I was not sure how I knew his name when I first saw it, then I realize he was the author of the book I used. I was a kind of outgoing person in nature, and I approached directly to him, introduced myself and had some good conversation, but not a long one. We found out during the conversation (or before that, I do not remember), Chuck Torpe, one of our Tokyo i-group member, know Bill quite well. I thought I may translate his book into Japanese, but he told me a Japanese woman had been working with it, so he would try to connect her with me. But as it often happens, the energy went down after I came back from Oregon, and the contact somehow get lost in the air.
In January 2009, when Yuko died, great number of people that I knew supported me which I really appreciate. They include people from overseas. I-group worrier helped me as well. Chuck and his wife Magane came to visit me within a month after Yuko's death along with other MKP men, sit wit my sadness. I knew they were impressed, Magane translated my funeral message to English, and he let Bill know about my sadness. So Bill contacted me and gave me a big hug thought e-mail. It was just an e-mail, but still meant a lot to me.
Then the era of Facebook came. I found many old friends there worldwide. Bill sent me a message, that he still care about me, introduced his book which I bought, and sent me an invitation to his community about an half year ago. I said that would be nice, but I did not have exact plan to come to the U.S. at that time.
A half year later or so, I decide to come to San Francisco for the AFTA conference. I was not sure where he lives, I only knew he lives somewhere on the west coast, but I sent a message I may want to visit you!
So here I am in Ashland with Zoe and Bill staying their house over the weekend. It was very nice to know how they enjoy their slow and enriching life with local people's gathering. We stayed nice little porch with the most beautiful view of the mountain, eat simple but good food, play frisbee, Zoe offered reflexology to me, and I enjoyed the stay so much. I am so influenced and thought this would be my ideal way of living for the rest of my life.
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