I spent my 53th birthday in Taiwan. I gave some lectures and workshops on Hikikomori (social withdrawal) to Taiwan professionals. Thanks for the Facebook. I did not tell anybody about my birthday, but some colleague found it like you did, and let everybody know. So on Friday, I finished the lecture, and the colleagues prepared a dinner with a nice cake and candles for me.
It has been one year and 8 months since my loss. I think I have moved to a stage to think about getting “a new friend.” I enjoy cooking at home and my parents help us a lot, so I don’t need “a housewife” or children’s new mother. I can take Mom and Dad roles for my kids. I just need a person who holds me emotionally. We do not need to live together. We can have our own space and commitment most of the time, and meet once in a while and enjoy company.
But I realize it is not very easy to find such a person. At young age, most of the same age group that I met could be candidates, but now be in 50s, most of the women are either occupied or not available for some reason. I am slowly telling some of my friends, "find me someone!"
Yuko was 6 years younger, so I do not mind someone younger than her! I like someone who is active and assertive.
Having said that, I am still not sure whether I am emotionally ready or not. And I concern about my children to feel a sense of betrayal that “Dad is forgetting our Mom! “
These are the fantasies around my birthday. How do you think?
I will take a slow step anyway.
I was away from my children on my birthday, but they gave me a very nice birthday card when I came home today.
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